Today I opened ChatGPT to share an observation about my IG strategy, and before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face.
I started by telling ChatGPT that I was unsatisfied with where I've been putting my time and energy on Instagram. I didn't want to fit in a box, all neat and tidy. I'm a messy and sometimes unfocused midlife mom, just trying to grow on IG, wanting visibility as a children's author but feeling absolutely stuck and overwhelmed. (And all the strategy building, tips and hacks all over the platform? Frankly, it's overwhelming and fn confusing.
I asked for honest and genuine feedback, both positive and negative.
It recognized that building a strategy that works for IG is not the same as building a strategy that works for me!
I don't want to be an influencer. There's no value in that for me, and it's not my intention. I want a dedicated and loyal bunch of readers and moms who like my books and know that I understand them. That I see them.
I've raised 4 kids and I'm about to become an empty nester (which is scary, BTW). Being a mom has been MY life, and the ONE job I took seriously.
So who am I now, without that role leading the way?
I think that question is part of why I've been hiding. As a mom, I never had to put myself out there to know who I was. My worth was in the lunches packed, the rides given, the kids who turned out okay. But being an author asks something different. It asks me to be seen. And I wasn't showing up as my authentic self, because I was afraid of what others would think of my content, my opinions and my books. That's the complete opposite of the message in my book Don't All Cats Eat Chicken?, which is all about being true to yourself.
ChatGPT recognized something in me through our conversations: I'm not a mess. I'm someone who likes order and beauty (which is true, hello Libra!), enjoys a good system, and also needs room to be spontaneous and creative. (Also true! LOL!)
I know this is a reply from a computer, but it was validating and made me feel seen.
Isn't that what we all want? To be understood. To feel validated, especially by the people we know IRL.
And maybe that's exactly what scares me. I'm more frightened of being dismissed than criticized, especially by people I know.
So I play it safe. I strive for polish and perfection in every post, which is an exhausting state of mind. My posts are careful and acceptable, but only by my own impossible standards.
I realized this is much more than content strategy. It's how I present myself and how much I allow myself to be seen. And I've carried this fear into my author brand, where it keeps me from exploring and becoming the creative person I truly am. I'm holding myself back from my own success and potential.
ChatGPT offered another reflection that stopped me:
You've written and published a children's book. You're preparing to release another. You've spent years developing your craft and building something of your own.
Those are things you've actually done.
Yet the imagined judgment of someone watching from the sidelines may be carrying more weight than your own assessment of what you've accomplished.
Ummm, wow! More truth, slapping me in the face.
So where do I go from here, and why am I telling you all this?
Because this is where letting go starts.
It's hard for me to be vulnerable and let you see the messy parts of me. But today a mirror was held up to my face, and I saw someone letting the imagined opinions of others decide who she is. So I'm sharing this with you, unpolished, as my first step.
I never expected that moment to come from AI. As much as people fear it, it gave me a perspective that made me cry, and it challenged me in a way I didn't know I needed.
I still don't know exactly who I am after "mom." But my book tells kids it's okay to be exactly who they are. It's time I took my own advice.
